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About Lausanne

Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but I swear, one chick said she’d only hook up if I barked like a dog—fuckin loco, right? Told her, “I’m Tony Montana, I don’t bark, I bite!” Sex-dating’s a trip, mang—half the time you laugh, half the time you wanna shoot somebody. “This is all we need,” Eve says—nah, I need a chica who don’t catfish me with 10-year-old pics. Stay real out there, or Tony’s comin’ for ya—say hello to my little friend!

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The river Dranse cuts through – compact and peaceful. I love watching its flow – kinda like life’s gentle reminder that even when you’re in a massage chair, time keeps on rollin’. And there’s a park, Parc du Soleil, where I hang out when I'm not kneading out knots. The trees? They gossip in the wind. I’ve sat there, marvelling, thinking "I can see Russia from my house!" – yeah, totally hyper but that’s how it is sometimes.

EuroTube will experiment with hyperloop tech applied to rail freight